Apparently insomnia is a “massive public health problem” here in the UK: the demands of our employment, our education, our families and loads of other stuff is all conspiring to wear us down into a state of perpetual exhaustion. (It’s not often I find myself in step with the rest of the country, but this is one of those rare incidences; I can’t remember when I last found it easy to get to sleep at night and get up of a morning, but I suspect it was in my early teens.)

Thankfully, the medical world has determined that (quelle surprise!) hypnotics and other highly addictive sleep-inducing medications aren’t the answer. The less positive news is that cognitive behavioural therapies and new types of drug designed to target the brain’s internal 24-hour clock (which are almost certain to have no addiction schedule or side effects, AMIRITEZ?) are the proposed solutions; as is traditional, we’re trying to cure the symptoms rather than going after the root cause of the problem, namely a ridiculously stressful social structure.

Still, why fix your society when drugs and brainwashing can get everyone back in the saddle with a rictius grin for jobs that may not exist in six months’ time, eh?